See you soon!

27 August 2009 at 10:40 pm (*Sigh*, Boys/Men, Conversations..., Fiction..., I write., Milestones, Non-fiction., WTF?, Women/Girls)

We’ve come a long way since we last sat here. A very long way, a very long time, a very long tiring walk. Ah yes, a long way. Trouble is, we still don’t know where we’re headed.

So, where do we go from here?

Down the rabbit hole. Twirling and twisting and scraping pink elbows, she falls! Thank God she was wearing a pair of jeans and not some poufy skirt.

What about me? What about these tiny shorts, I don’t want my knees to be scarred.

Ah, so we take different ways. You go on, straight down the road and take a left. Keep on walking downhill till you meet me. Okay?

So, you’re going to jump now?

Yes, I am.

Oh alright then, good luck!

See you..!

Soon?

Permalink 6 Comments

Please.

25 August 2009 at 11:40 pm (*Sigh*, I wish!, Places..., Random thoughts, Weather-wise) (, , , )

The dark grey skies are deceptive, I’ve been waiting all day for it to pour, for them clouds to split open and rain down on us. The sun has been hiding and the weather has been “nice” and “beautiful” and “gorgeous”. It is as cloudy as my brain and as depressing as grey can be if not teamed with something that makes you smile.

He was wearing a grey suit and had teamed it with a white shirt and silver and blue tie. That is how grey should be. He was in white and black, but the white had navy stripes and the tie, oh the tie was just perfect with deep blue, navy blue, silver and black diagonal stripes. Very few men wear the right ties. Very few days are cloudy and perfect.

The weather here seems to be reflecting your thought process. Stuffy and oppressive. Smoke after smoke, grey billowing in this room doesn’t help. It’s oily, it’s depressing and I cannot breathe freely. Circles, vicious, vicious circles make you dizzy. There is no air to breathe, there is no breeze, no wind. This room needs large french windows, for everyone’s survival.

The green, the blue, the white and black pale in comparison to the red. The red screams life and love and passion. Where is my red? Where is my red? The purple water bottles are old, the new ones are clear with pink caps. Pink annoys me, and it’s all your fault? You made me roll my eyes at pink. You and your hair flipping and pink lip glossing and pink accessorising.

I am tired. Oh so tired of this grey. So sick of this pink. So confused and so dizzy. Rain, for I need it to wash away everything. Purge this city of its sins. Rain and pour and storm all over this dead stifling city for it needs you. Needs you to stop posing for amateur photographers and horrid skyscapes. Just wash away this, this grey!

Permalink 3 Comments

Wassup?

20 August 2009 at 2:28 am (Journal?, Lists)

  • Corporate whoring
  • The twins turned 25!*
  • Bonded labouring
  • Love
  • Lack of love
  • Love lost
  • Hate! HATE.
  • Love. Sigh. Love.
  • Incessantly.
  • Such much hate? For you? No!
  • Corporate whores are us
  • News. Gossip. Chai talks.
  • The Ex is getting married!**
  • The Friend is getting angry.
  • The Boy is oh-so-busy.
  • Exceed expectations (!)
  • We Karaoke-d Unbreak my Heart among others!
  • We did all we could do
  • We are misunderstood. Who isn’t?
  • Well, we are.
  • What’s your excuse?
  • Bullet point conversations?
  • Ah! you must’ve definitely lost your mind!

Good night Dellll-heee!

————————————

*Happy Birthday Maya! Happy Birthday Hottie :) I believe it! I do! Yes, you are twins and Yes, you are both 25. Each! Heh.

**The Ex. The only Ex so to say. Others were friends and then boyfriends and then friends again? Well, at the tender (guffaw!) age of twenty six, Sir will tie the knot.

Permalink 11 Comments

for we are trying,

19 August 2009 at 9:31 am (*Sigh*, Non-fiction., Random thoughts, Shiny offices, Short Short Stories) (, , )

trying very hard to keep our heads above the surface: noses (!) above the surface of the viscous liquid you’ve been pushed into! Yes, it’s quite disgusting and very pathetic. Everyday, I am here, trying, trying to battle for my sanity. Trying to keep myself and my being alive in the face of this inevitable drudgery. Slowly, very slowly and steadily, it seeps in. It’s everywhere!

In each and every beautifully decorated shop full of things none of us really need. In each convenience store, where they up-sell for our convenience. In every breath you take in the airconditioned office, the airconditioned cab pick up, the airconditioned cab drop. It peeks out from behind the fries doused in ketchup, the cheese cake that costs Rs 450++. It stares at you in the form of two plus signs after anything you do. A cup of coffee, a movie with popcorn, buying books, my handmade shampoo bar!

In every step I take, every well-thought out of, low-risk decision I make since my last “fuck up”, you push me towards that very end. The end for which the means are evident. Oh of course, I am better off than a billion, so are you, for you are reading this. But how is that enough? How does that help? It doesn’t when I stop trying to stay afloat and just let go. It doesn’t help me muster up the strength or the courage to get out. You demand this of me. I succumb, for you matter more than a billion.

You demand, I supply. Unfortunately, I end up paying more than I’d bargained for. Plastic. Pretty plastic. You and your new sets of demands, you and your directives, you and your expectations. Who exceeds expectations anyway? Why is meeting them not enough? I haven’t left you disappointed now, have I? I am expected to exceed your expectations? That is one flawed sentence, not grammatically, only logically. After all that is said and done, I lean on the edge of this septic tank, ask the guards for a light and light my perfect cigarette. Perfect.

Permalink 4 Comments

An engagement, a trip to the hills III

11 August 2009 at 1:44 pm (*Sigh*, Gorgeous people, I recommend, Journal?, Love?, Places..., Wow.) (, , , )

Here, click to read part I and II.

The black Swift carried us to Kufri, which by the way, is a place with no soul. It has been plundered and colonised by the tourism industry. It’s overcrowded, it’s dirty, it’s full of ridiculously dressed north Indians who simply want a cooler climate with the same snacks, the same facilities and the same stench. Everything is for sale in Kufri. Everything. To them, we were hopeless, aimless souls who wanted to go to Chail, where “nothing happens”. We were heading for ‘em luxury tents in a village called Alampur near Chail. We somehow left Kufri behind, despite all its attempts to hold us back: traffic jams, fights with idiotic rude cab drivers, oh! even a Yak spotting! But we carried on, undeterred, we HAD to get out!

Fairy creatures guided us, they made it rain for us. The world was far far away and we were driving on a beautiful narrow, curving road through a pine forest. The sun couldn’t touch us, the air was intoxicating and washed over us in soft waves, we were staring in awe and amazement. The road to Chail was a pathway to surreal yet haunting gorgeousness.

The drive ended, we parked and sent our luggage off to our tent! The plan was to get away from people: the hordes of tourists who had found this little paradise. So, after a steaming cup of tea, some directions and discussions, we headed off for a trek in the hills. I did so in my floaters and socks! Impromptu trips are so much fun! We walked, people… we did. We walked right into a dance practice for a cultural function! We had inadvertently walked in on a group of teenagers practicing a group dance for a mela, where they were to perform a folk number the very next day. A cassette player played forgotten tunes, the boys stood in one row and the girls in another. They danced, we watched and applauded, tried to click photographs with our camera phones, wished them luck and walked on.

The path was welcoming and well trodden, it beckoned us, inviting us to sing songs, to listen to stories; stories of visitors before us, tales of dusty footsteps that created the narrow path over the years. The golden sun played hide ‘n’ seek, disappearing when needed, re-appearing when we least expected. I winked at the gorgeous sun and forgot meaningful warnings, ‘Careful, the recently shed leaves might be slippery’ and I sulked and crawled in faulty footwear.

That’s when we saw him, a not-so-tall, lanky fellow; we peered and tried to focus on what was hoisted on his thin shoulder and exclaimed, “Is that a rifle?”; “Oh my God! He’s carrying a rifle!”; “Is he going to shoot the monkeys!”. While we tried to follow him, he sprinted on the slippery slope, rifle in one hand, a tree branch in the other, he slid from one slope to the other shouting orders at his pet langoor! Guiding him, egging him to attack other monkeys. We stared, rooted to our spots, for we were shocked and curious! We had to know what he, the hunter, was up to. This mowgli meets bounty hunter kept us spell bound, he was guiding his watch-monkey (dog?!) to guide the wild monkeys away from plantations and gardens. He slithered away with a few yells and we, the city walkers, could do nothing. Not even click a decent photograph.

Fairy creatures guided us with wild strawberries, lady bugs and rambling roses – promising us spectacular views. We crossed barriers meant to dissuade leopards and tigers from entering tiny pastures and villages. We could see Shiva’s silhouette against the burning sun, we could see the trishul soaring high above. We could feel a chill creeping on us, it was not an ordinary temple, not a place of worship. It was built for sacrifices and fire and smoke. Three concentric circles contained two over-fed calves that stared and dodged us. The Shiv Mandir was fearful, negative and nothing like any other building I’ve seen before. It celebrated and revered the Destroyer, not the merciful Lord.

I started recalling all the stories I’d heard of him, had he ever been merciful? Was this really what he stood for? Scared sacrificial beings, chillums, bongs and firewood? In order to love him, to submit to him, do they really need the opium, the bhang and the hash? Does it make it easier to kill? To celebrate destruction? While we tried to lighten the mood, by calling the temple, “Psycho Mandir”, a huge bone spotted near the temple didn’t really help! We were silent, contemplative and trying very hard to get away when we saw, a congregation of monkeys! Apparently, they meet, rather collect to celebrate births and mourn deaths (for their sake, I hope it was a birth). Now we had to rush and get away from the monkeys and psycho mandirs!

While the fairies giggled at our flight, we decided to rest. We sat on milestones and tiny boulders and stared at the azure skies bowing in greeting to the tall Himalayas. We saw the valleys celebrate the rains in joy and we saw the lush green preening, adorning it all. We sat in silence and stared. The silence in the hills is warm, comforting and palpable. The silence keeps a million secrets, hides many stories and tales, tucks them away in the many layers, trails and paths that make the hills. It is this silence that makes you breathe, lets you forget and compels you to smile. It makes you wonder, makes you step out of a cosy tent and huddle around a bonfire to hear whispers of unfinished, ever evolving stories. It makes you notice the trees pregnant with lush fruit. It was the silence that made us nibble on almost ripe apricots and plums, in the golden hue of candle light, and think of nothing but the twinkling of many, many stars strewn across the utterly dark skies.

Permalink 8 Comments