Chocolate bar
Your hand on the small of my back
Me, breathing chocolate into your soul
Soft voices play music to me
My hair soon smells of you and scotch
My skin is cold and yours isn’t
Marble cake? White and Dark…
We dance to each other’s tunes
Chocolate breath mingled with scotch
Your lips on the nape of my neck
Caramel coated apple candy
Your eyes play tricks on me and you
Sticky toffee fingers
Your finger tips and my wrist
Cigarette smoke escapes perfect lips
Baby you’re my favourite
Scotch-filled-caramel-centered-chocolate-bar
Now they tell me!
I was as happy as a young one with the summer’s first ice cream purchase. As happy as a diabetic with that one bite of pure unadulterated sugary-O: candy floss. As happy as a dog who finally gets that dog biscuit on a Sunday morning from his favourite family member. As happy as I am when I am told, you take off kid! We’ll manage, and have a good weekend. So I go ahead and try a new flavoured vodka/rum type and actually like it!
Bacardi Apple.
Pros:
Green apple goodness!
Goes well not just with Sprite but with Limca too!
Cons:
Well, its rum, and a lot of ‘em get hangovers cause of rum. I don’t unless it’s Old Monk. So, I shrug and consume it anyway.
Its not JD. But its cheaper, so I shrug and consume it anyway.
That was then.
***
This is now.
I was as happy as a North Indian is when they get aaloo paranthas on a Saturday morning.
Crisp and absolutely yummyy!
Cooked to perfection by my mommyy!
Along with a cup of chai.
All brewed to perfection, hai hai!
(oops?)
But they called. They called and requested the pleasure of my company. They need as much help as they can get. I need to be there to perfect the hundred and something slide Powerpoint.
Argh. Damn you all! May you never be able to Powerpoint! All your life, you’ll have to sit and relieve yourself. I curse you! CURSE YOU!
***
Cab is booked. Gurgaon beckons. I need to wash my hair. Ta’
…they pull me back in!
I am Exceling and Powerpointing. Heeeeeee. Powerpointing! If I was a man, I’d probably be able to make very good use of that eh? Powerpointing. According to a very dear friend, men never powerpoint! and make a mess. And should just sit and pee.
Yes, women, LAUGH. Look at the horrified, disgusted expression on their faces and LAUGH. Teehee!
***
I know. Now, I know. There are two types of men.
One. The ones you look at and smile, a fool’s smile. Seriously. You then think of alcohol, cigarette smoke, dark chocolate and tongue.
Two. The ones you look at and smile, a fool’s smile. Seriously, wait for it… You then think of alcohol, cigarette smoke, dark chocolate and eyes. Eyes looking at eyes and lots of soft skin.
The other men don’t figure in romantic heterosexual fantasies. They are just nice, helpful, fun creatures who are friends or brothers or dads. And yes, I left out the shitheads for a reason. Do NOT ruin my appetite.
***
Vampires are truly hot. I will never outgrow that phase, although I will continue to live it only through (all types of) Vampire books, movies and uhmmm fictionating.
***
Oh the title?
I had settled into running for the cab at 6 p.m. everyday, reaching home in time for TV, tea and totally fabulous hot shower. I had also more or less made up my mind about being disinterested in this shit and not doing this forever and ever or even until next year. But nooooo, they decided to just headfuck me and leave me bleeding grey matter everywhere! Point in case, I didn’t plan out the second half of 2009 in excruciating detail this entire week, I didn’t even think of my resignation letter.
BAH.
***
I am so broke it hurts. He is so pretty I can’t stop staring. Why didn’t I save? Why?! I wish I had luscious lips. Like totally hot Jolie type. I am craving JD and you and dark chocolate. I cannot buy that bottle, I can’t even buy the damn chocolate! Oh!
It’s bourbon people! BOURBON. The next person who tries to compare JD or Jim Beam to Glenfiddich or Cutty Sark is going to get socked. Like seriously. *Narrows eyes to tiny slits and looks totally scary*
So, now. I know.
I am going to mooch off him. Yay!
No frills attached: It begins
In the Kingdom of Notsofaraway, lived a not so fair and not so blue eyed Princess. She was tanned from not bothering about sunscreen when she went for walks and had cut her hair short for it was her only curse. She didn’t care much for skirts or dresses; her mother, the Queen, had a tough time shopping for her. She also did not like frills or laces too much, and to top it off, she preferred shades of blue even though the colour pink made her look angelic and very princess-like.
Her best feature was probably her sharp, intelligent eyes, very dark and nicely eye-lashed. Maybe, it was her smile. Her smile was happy and her laughter, unabashed and a bringer of joy to all who were lucky enough to hear it. The Princess wasn’t used to being called by her real name. It was too complicated and tough to pronounce. I cannot pronounce it either, so we’ll stick to calling her ‘Princess’, just the way she liked it.
Notsofaraway didn’t have many knights in shining armours, as they liked travelling to the kingdom Farfaraway to save damsels in distress. Saving them was easier than wooing the non-frill-donning lasses of Notsofaraway. Slaying dragons, fighting unhappy witches or slipping on glass slippers was what they were trained for. They weren’t trained to differentiate between the various meads that Notsofaraway was famous for, or discuss the merits as well as the demerits of post-Ice-Queen-age writing, or appreciate the fine workings of the Magik Lantern. And our Princess loved her mead. She was also a supporter of the arts, especially for the Magik lantern. Magik was her hobby. She loved practicing magik, and the rumours of her affair with Viszard Shehzad were a result of her interest in the subject, not the eighty year old’s ability to look like he was twenty five. The stillyeng spell was not one of her favourites, despite the ability to create an absolutely awesome illusion of freedom from ageing. Such false rumours followed Princesses, as did the scoopazzis! Although, her love for chocklette had indeed resulted in various nights of fabulousity in the company of Chef Unibrow. She had of course convinced him to get rid of the unibrow after their first cooking session together, but the name still stuck. All in all, Princess supported her people, in whichever way she deemed fit.
The people continued to adore Princess, like they had adored the Royals for the few hundred decades that had passed in Notsofaraway.
***
On another extraordinary day, on her way to the University of AllthingsFabulousandAwesome (UniFab), she picked up her friend Nayanka, an absolute stunner, whose passion was clothes, shoes and bags (yes, magikals do love the yuzuals). Nayanka managed to look utterly gorgeous after her daily two hour morning ritual. Point in case, the girl crushed fresh blackberries and cranberries daily to paint her lips to perfection.
“You smell divine!”, said the Princess as Nayanka climbed into the only black royal chariot. Nayanka smiled at the Princess in return.
“What is different? Did you finally succumb to the charms of the perfumer?”, the Princess persisted.
“No way in wherever-we-go-when-we-die! I just replaced the jasmine and rose mix with sweet almond essence.” , she made Princess take a whiff of her delicious smelling wrist, “The perfumer wanted me to wear something called ‘Lover’s embrace’, and it had musk in it! Disgusting!”, the Princess wrinkled her nose in agreement.
The conversation continued as it usually does when two friends meet after the passing of an entire fortnight. They talked of a variety of things. Nayanka was helping Princess with the costumes for the UniFab theater production, and had gone ahead and accessorised with a vengeance. They exchanged boy notes as well, the perfumer and Shehzad Jr. were being very demanding and had already put forth the question feared by all girls of Notsofaraway, ‘Where do you think this is going?’
***
A sprawling building, which continued to grow with new additions – rooms, halls, towers, auditoriums, terraces, ponds, greenhouses and occasionally even lawns – looked as welcoming and confusing as ever. This neverending growth spurt had resulted in a Department of UniFab Signage, which had on its payrolls, many full time and innumerable part time employees.
The bright sun shone on its favourite university and the vines of many magikal and yuzsual plants that adorned the red walls. The girls smiled at the newly added tower 13.
“What do you think this one is dedicated to?”, asked Nayanka.
“I know what it is dedicated to.”, replied Princess. Nayanka waited for an answer but her friend continued walking towards the Breakfasteria.
“Wait! Tell mee…!”, followed Nayanka.
“It’s not my place to tell, Mr. Rayta will do the honours at half past one today.”, smiled Princess.
“Oh come on!”
“Wait.”
“Please… pleeaaasseee!”
“Patience my dear Nayan. Patience.”
“Patience… rea… Oh my God! Where did she get those shoes from?!”
“What?! Oh!”
“Those are special edition Chooz! And they haven’t even released in Notsofaraway!”
“Well, then the Gosscoop was right.”
“What do you mean? She…! No…! Not Choozah!”
“Seems likely…”
And there she was, the University’s recent addition, Pam, short for Pamtram. The girl’s true love was chocklette, but she only sniffed it now, for she liked fitting into a size too-small. Needless to say, she is not liked by Princess or Nayanka. For enjoying nights of fabulousity is something they too enjoy and look forward to, as we all should, but to trade nights of fabulousity is totally unacceptable.
***
Or is it? We’ll find out soon.


