I’m going to smile and chirp, and enjoy a Monday, even if it kills me!
The driver cannot drive. He can honk and he can really give his everything while breaking. He can ensure that my neck snaps in two but he cannot drive. Funny, he’s the driver. And as my workplace is in Gurgaon, where no form of public transport goes, we have to take the office transport. And I cannot reiterate this enough – The DRIVER canNOT drive. He has banged the Innova into an SX4, a Wagon R, oh make that two and others. He has also ensured neck sprains for all of us every once in a while. Moron! @!#@@#$%^&*() GAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now that, that’s out of the way, we will smile. Go Heeeeeeeeeeeeee! And say Gmorning! or Morning! :)) How are you! How’s it going? Blah.
I will go get some glorious tea-bag tea and slurp on it. I will then edit re-write and re-format presentations that people consider to be perfect and only need one check from the Markets team. Effin idiots. Ideeeeeeeyuuutttttttssssssss.
I will then send these presentations for approval and follow up like a love-sick puppy to speed up things.
I will also ignore the person next to me. See we have a cubicle with 4 workstations. Our workstations are BIG compared to older and other offices. Anyway, she still keeps stuff on my workstation, she leaves her phone around with a FROG ringtone!?! and her desk phone’s ringtone is an anglicised ’Are you there?’ repeated till she picks up the phone. ARGH. She also talks on the phone all day or talks to herself while working. Ok, I’m not a mean person, but FREAK! PS. She SLURPS her tea. Argh.
Post lunch and a cigarette, I will have a conference call to discuss some very ‘important’ issues. I am sure we will talk when we have to, not listen to anyone else and use the mute button frequently. Some people are known to exchange words about the Chair of the meeting on the office messenger. Fun Fun! Such good use of my time! Especially when I have a deadline to meet! Yay!
Hopefully, we will get home tonight.
Okay people! Happy Monday to you!
Oh crap.
Honey! I emptied the freezer.
Ice cream + sulking girl = fat girl
The above mentioned is one of those irrevocable, undeniable, hard to digest (pun intended) truth about women.
Promise!
I’m going to make myself a cup of gorgeous jasmine tea… I’m going to inhale it and slurp it and enjoy every last drop. I will NOT even think about the freezer. No. I will not. I will not devour the chocolate chip or butterscotch ice-cream lying there all alone (technically… not).
Skip it!
It’s been a while eh? Well, still don’t know what to write about, so we shall ramble… this post can be skipped. I guess… or it might turn out alright… We don’t know yet. We should press click press/click enter and start typing about something in particular if we wish to find out what is to become of this post. So here goes…
So yesterday, I got one of those emails: 14 day trial offer!, from some online film rental site. Instead of ignoring it, the lack of excitement/energy/plans for the weekend made me click on it and made me sign up. It also made me create my rental queue (basically I went through lots of lists of movies, and searched some and selected them and saved that list). What I realised after saving this list was that
a. it was a very long list, and I was afraid they would start charging me.
b. most of them were either “classics” or “chick flicks”.
So I stared at the list and tried to clean it up, and shorten it to say 20 odd movies (I have 50 on it right now!). I am trying to reduce “mindless trash” or “sappy romantic shit”, named so by people around me who are forced to watch the “escapist” genre of films with me. It is not trash, its just “escapist in nature” and dreamy and makes you forget…
My love for Bollywood and movies categorised under ‘Romance’ is very well known. Well, I do love the movies like Fight Club, Snatch, The Godfather, etc but when I want to sit on my own and eat popcorn and ice-cream and not think, I watch Princess Diaries (it’s the princess complex), Bridget Jones’ Diary and graduate to Shakespeare in Love, Happenstance, Reality Bites, Before Sunrise & Sunset…… More importantly, I can say I have grown up on a staple diet of Bollywood (it’s apparently a genetic thing, I’m told my Grandfather watched a first-day-first-show every Friday!, come what may, or he would feel restless and ill and catch a movie over the weekend!). I love watching movies in the ‘cinema hall’ :) and love Paalika Bazaar! My all time favourite escapist movie would be DDLJ… another one Dil Toh Pagal Hai… It’s just that I am a sucker for Romance and this is the first time realisation has struck!
We are all such suckers (for things that cannot happen). Such admirers of beauty, rags to riches stories, the Cinderella stories! We adore our celebrities or at least follow news about them (of course it’s not difficult at all, considering the media FEEDS us even their sizes and diets!). Even if you roll your eyes at Bollywood, and say it is expected from movies that are still musicals and shot in ice-capped mountains with the actresses wearing chiffon! We can take care of your doubts too! Let’s see, even Sex and the City? Where does that happen? You know, I know, we all know, there’s no Mr Big waiting to slide on the Manolo Blahnik on to our foot! If he runs from the wedding. He runs. And Pretty Woman! Will a millionaire who has a fear of heights ever climb up a fire escape to go get his one true love despite the fact that she’s a prostitute?!? Is pulling off a Sabrina possible? All in all, no matter how it started off, the practical wins over the romantic, in the relationship. Its quite saddening… for the movies never told me that! Hardly. They just talk about the wooing and the wine-ing and dining…
And so much so, it has turned me into a hopeless romantic who swore never to settle for mediocrity. I am so hopeless that I quote from Dream for an Insomniac and Before Sunrise and Before Sunset! I swoon when Ethan Hawke (in Reality Bites) says, “You have no idea what she needs”. I even get excited when SRK finds the ridiculous cowbell and says, “Main aa raha hoon, Simran!”. So, just like you and her and him, I too have fed myself this nonsense and made myself believe that mad passionate extraordinary love is possible and get-able. It’s totally unfair. These movies, books and sitcoms…! They really do turn you into a believer and then before you know it, you start expecting it. We all do. Aye aye sir!
Tell me the last time you were attracted to someone because you found out you were compatible. Or that you figured their habits would suit your lifestyle! That doesn’t happen. Nah. The things that make you fall are (just a few of the gazillion telling points…) -
- You can’t take your eyes off them.
- You go weak in knees and you giggle (if you’re a girl).
- You just know they’ll have the softest lips when you finally manage to kiss them.
- You just cannot believe the sparks or how amazing they smell…
- Or you forget about time, space and all that jazz when they are around.
But does this really happen? Or are we conditioned to make it happen? Do we hallucinate it all? Is it all their fault? Of course! They made us imagine all of it… Did they think we’ll be happy (I guess a little eh…!)? Peple are so hooked on to finding true love that shady/shoddy Reality dating game-shows are all the rage! GAH! There are enough love songs/ poems/ stories/ movies in this world to last us our lifetimes! And we keep on asking for more! Hoping and sighing and giggling and crying. It’s pathetic. When in the end, the sparks and the wow-ness disappears… Was it just lust? Well, at least it would all make sense then! ‘It’ would be the 7 year itch, now the 7 month itch or in some cases the 7 week itch! When all the ‘can’t keep your hands off each other’ and the ‘5 hour phone conversations’ slowly stops (well, you can’t keep on behaving that way forever! GAH! Why not?) and the ‘Do you want to plan something for the weekend?’-messages start being exchanged on Wednesdays! You know its the itch. Suddenly, you find each other’s ‘adorable’ quirks so annoying that you want to strangle each other. You need to “work” on spending time together. You don’t want to watch that match or that chick flick with him/her. And then you start – Arguing -> Fighting -> Sulking! -> Talking to your friends! The friends don’t know what to say… And you are left with the following options – Talk/ Discuss… Argue/ Fight… and WORK on a relationship that had seemed no less than perfect a few months ago. The butterflies are dead and are replaced with a gnawing… a gnawing so terrible it hurts. And you wonder where did the passion disappear? When did love become so difficult? And I blame the actors, the directors, the writers, the poets, etc. No one looks beautiful in the mornings! Morning breath is not nice. Nobody really willingly dies for love, or gets beaten up (its more the guy’s pride than his love for the girl).
Why couldn’t they just come out and say it – Men want sex. Women give sex. A lot of games are played to ensure this give and take. So enjoy. Go feel like shit. Go feel like a queen. Go feel like a slut. Go feel like a prude. etc. etc. etc. Just make sure you come. Hah! If people could just make lists and share them! If they could just tell the truth and get it over with, then precious time and effort and energy and money won’t be spent on winning love, then celebrating love and then mourning the lack of love. Oh how it starts so innocently, when you giggle and hope and pray that they will just look at you! The first Crush. The first time you hold hands. The first kiss. And then it becomes complicated. And what happens to us? Us with our talks and discussions. What to say, what to do, what to wear, what not to say. The Games. The Ego. The Pride. The this and the that.
Oh crap. I don’t know where I am going with this. All I wanted to do was order some movies! Well… Question: When did everything become so effing difficult!
Still sick…
I used to think the cold-water-bandage nonsense on irritating kids with fever in the movies. Well, my mom had to get the ice-cold water out, for me. I really wanted to drink it. I did. Did I? Anyway, 103 degrees celcius fever and all that is not nice. Its IRRITATING. And you take your medicines and all, and have this burst of energy and everything is great for half an hour. Then you are sleepy and what not. Finally, the fever comes back just in time for more meds. All in all, its an experience I wish I had never had. I’ve been sick before – but this has lasted too long – since Wednesday afternoon. My eyelids started burning and I started shivering in office – I knew then that I should just go home somehow. But nooo, I waited for the cab, the cabbie was concerned, as I always ask for the AC, never for it to be switched off. I also dozed off and had to be yelled at to be woken up. Whatever. Everyone falls sick. WHY ME!?!??!!? So, this time, it went out of control cause it’s the throat infection with the viral and some nonsense. The back is fucked cause the viral affects the weakest part of you. Yay. Thank you so much. I’ve slept so much, I’m bored. My energy burst is over now. I have to go. Soon.
I saw the rain today… it was beautiful. A little yucky for people outside but beautiful for me. While I thought of how unlucky I was and how I should be outside with the Boy. Flirting and being all pretty (even when you aren’t looking your best, and the weather becomes awesome, doesn’t it make you feel good?) and what not. I just found out that the boy’s car almost drowned thanks to the rain. So much for hoping to you know whatever… but the car would’ve been drowning. Blah. How not nice. Actually I laughed a lot, and was quite unsympathetic. Or was I? I don’t remember, he called when it had been an hour since I had swallowed the bitter pills so… I don’t remember too well. Blah. Oh, also, this being sick thing has not let me smoke. So, I’m thinking I won’t now, unless I’m drinking. What say? I think I am delirious. Delusional? What? Oh God. This blog needs posts. I need pills. I need sleep. My mommy is awesome. She is just… so amazing. Popcorn tastes heavenly after three days of fluids. Take care. Goodnight. Get drunk. Smoke. Make out. Go do all the things I cannot do. B L A H.
