Unwise love.
I read something that, well, considering the content and the way it was written, demanded that I re-read it. Re-read. Slowly. Patiently. Not hungrily, like I read stories.
On day 1, I agreed. On day 2, I revisited and closed my eyes and sighed. On day 5, I am confused. Tell me what you think. I’m sure everyone has something to say, love does that to people, no?
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“… yes. It had flaws, but what does that matter when it comes to matters of the heart? We love what we love. Reason does not enter into it. In many ways, unwise love is the truest love. Anyone can love a thing because. That’s as easy as putting a penny in your pocket. But to love something despite. To know the flaws and love them too. That is rare and pure and perfect.”
The Wise Man’s Fear, Patrick Rothfuss
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I do know I can love books this way. Or the whisk I’ve been using since I was 15. Perhaps we do love despite, and I can too… but I wonder if that that love will be enough? Will it be enough that it’s rare and pure and perfect? Will it…?
More on why I love Patrick Rothfuss, shortly.
Possibly un-save-able.
I let go of you and you grapple with all your might. I hold on to you and you push me away with all you’ve got. I falter. I falter. I fall. And you aren’t here to save me.
Save me.
Do I want to be saved by you? Is that what I want? What if falling is the only way I will survive? Do I fall to save myself… Do I fall for I am un-save-able? That’s not even a word. Seems like it should be.
Un-save-able.
Why can’t I breathe? Why can’t I function? Why not? Why are they forcing me to run… Do you want me to run too? Away? Away from here, from you, from us? Was there ever an ‘us’? Perhaps there shouldn’t have been? Perhaps there always was. Perhaps it was a stronger possibility than we ever realized. Should we have nipped it in the bud?
Possibly.
after many discussions…
… on the topic of what and how much can you tell your respective other/ better half or whatever you want to call it in the beginning of the uhmm relationship. It is apparently “best to keep things to yourself”. I thought, self preservation… “Even things that are very important to you”, I thought, then why are the two of them together? They roll their eyes and explain, restraint is best exercised when you are experiencing those crazy awesome feelings. They say, these feelings disappear (as we all are well aware of) and the things you might have said while in the grip of hormones and under the influence of those fleeting, however not insincere emotions come and bite you in the ass.
Ah, makes sense? The poor confused babe was then told to go with the flow and enjoy the way things are proceeding.
WTF?
What. Is. Wrong. With. The. World?
If you’re at work and in a meeting, your messenger status would be: ‘Online’/ ‘Available’ or Busy’/ ‘In a Meeting’? Please do tell. Because apparently, the world should just figure out that certain people are busy or in a meeting even if there is no indication of the same. None. And if the world doesn’t know, those people act like self important morons.
If you call someone, you talk to them right? You ask a question or share a story or just reply to them, or do you hold the phone and watch tv, talk to others around you or just stare into space? What do you do? TALK. That’s what you do. It’s a phone. A phone.
If someone tells you they are busy, do you continue with the conversation or do you let them carry on with their work? PLEASE I want to know how I am the only one who seems to get this?
If you step on someone’s toe, do you apologise or pointedly ignore them? Jackasses.
If you bump into someone, even a friend, don’t you say sorry? Or do you just stare at them, mute and poker-faced? Hmph.
If someone tells you not to do something, explicitly, do you continue doing it? Do you? DO YOU?
If a woman tells you to be nice when she’s hormonal and not in the mood to be the butt of your jokes, what would you do? Irritate her some more, eh? She may kill you. She may just.
If someone refuses to do something for you, politely and within reason, how is it rude? How dare you mumble and mutter and hang up?
If your junior wants to quit their job, what would you do? Hang up on them persistently? Tell them they have the wrong attitude? Not speak to them, not share credit, start marking other team members on emails related to the project they’ve been handling or will you be professional and mature about it? Professional, and, mature. Hah.
If you cannot find the set of pages you printed, why would you take all the prints, look for your own and throw the rest in trash? WHY? What sense does it make you godforsakenimbecile!
If someone tells you… ah what’s the point? What, exactly?
Easier to love.
Simple girls are easier to love.
They are simple. They are sweet. They want you to take care of them. They follow the rules of the games people play. They let you pay. They let you pamper them. They let you yell at them for that’s what you do when you’re angry. They cry silently and look pretty when they do. They let you take them in your arms and make the world a safer place. They can play the part of damsels in distress. They make you feel like their knight in shining armour. Chocolates and flowers, thoughtful presents or expensive gifts – all of these make them smile and forgive you. When they walk off, they take tiny steps, and let you follow them. You can kiss away their tears and pouts, you can take them home and they’ll always say the right things. They can never hold their drink and for them, whiskey is a man’s drink. They crinkle their pretty noses at you and you are smitten, aren’t you? They know what they want. And you’re the lucky one.
Simple girls are easier to stay in love with.
They don’t question you when you apologize. They don’t let you think they can take care of themselves. They don’t question the rules of games people pay. They don’t cover the cheque or offer to go dutch. They don’t yell back, they don’t shut you up, they don’t make sense when you fight. They don’t fight you off when they are angry. They don’t ever howl or let tears ruin their make up. They never let you feel they will be able to survive without you. They don’t fight to be equals, or maybe they do, and we are generalizing. They don’t refuse gifts because they are too expensive. They don’t forget what went wrong by consuming copious amounts of chocolates. They don’t walk off and hide. They don’t stop you when you try to save them, even if they want to be saved. They are not unsure of what they want, especially when every cell in their body is screaming for you.
Simple girls are tougher to let go of.
They are so easy to be with, you would never dream of letting them go. Their drama comes with an expiry period, they are waiting for you to make the pain go away. They never forget to laugh at your jokes, they giggle when you two are alone. They walk by your side and hold on to your strong arms. They get lost and call you for directions even if Google Maps work on their phone. They cannot read maps, they cannot give directions. They look pretty even if they’ve just woken up. They cry for you and eat tubs of ice cream. Their girlfriends tell you what to say to them and it always works like a charm. Their hair, their smiles and their pretty pink clothes are always perfect. Their eyes light up when they see you. They melt in your arms and make you feel like the complete man. Who would want to give that up? Not you.
Makes you wish you were simple, doesn’t it?
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Disclaimer: generalizations are a part of life; deal!
